So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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