i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
