went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
