is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
