he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
