The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
