Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
