He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
