Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
