..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
