Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
