this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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