I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
