yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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