just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
