Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
