Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
