Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
