You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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