Soap is not a condiment
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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