I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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