I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
