Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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