Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
