Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
