Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
