I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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