ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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