He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
