Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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