Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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