I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So vagazzling was a success
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
