So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
third nipple confirmed
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
