i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
