I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
