More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
