At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
