I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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