I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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