Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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