all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
