Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
