So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize