last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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