it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
