Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
