We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
either way he was missing a nipple.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
