When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
