Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
