I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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