take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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