I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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