no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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