you win again, gameday.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
