halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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