Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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